A Plan

What’s the grand plan?
What am I holding on for?
Just a glimpse or a sign,
That’s all I need right now

Are You listening?
Were You ever?
I’ve held on to this thread,
For fourteen years now

Should I let go?
Should I let the cracks show?
I’ve been picking up the pieces,
Hoping one day You’ll make me whole

So what’s the grand plan?
Do I even have one?
Just a plan would be fine,
Any time now…

– Raziel ©2015

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Depression

Trapped I lay
Between nothing and nowhere
Not sure of want nor need
Going through the motions
Between subsistence and existence
Alive is but a dream
There is no like, nor dislike
Everything is grey
Just overbearing nothingness
Pulling me deeper each day

– Raziel ©2015

Man of History

All the list of wrongs,
I drag out again
All the bad cards
That I’ve been dealt
I feel the bitterness,
Well up again
I’m man of history

I remember the words,
And how they felt
Remember the times,
And wounds they left
I leaf through the pages
And fuel my regrets
I’m a man of history

When I’m happy,
I wait for the other shoe to drop
The moments I live in,
Are long dead and gone
I grip tightly, the thorns of the past
And the gifts of the present, I leave to rot
After all, I am but a man,
Of history…

– Raziel ©2015

What happened?

Once more the gnawing starts,
The sudden plunge into sorrow,
In the middle of a laugh,
Suddenly, utterly hollow

Something eating away slowly,
At everything…
Losing moments, losing memories, losing friends,
losing…

Everything jades away,
Withering memories of joys pave the streets
An empty stare here, a deep breath there,
Wondering about everything and nothing

Questioning glances everywhere I turn,
Everyone looking for an explanation to the inexplicable
Life shrinks around two words,
“What happened?”

– Raziel ©2015