I’ve been searching all my life,
For the words I would say
To her, when when I meet her,
On one fateful day

That day has come and gone,
But I never knew
That the words that I sought,
Were meant to be for you

I still search for the words,
That I should have said
Though it would be rather moot,
For, as always, speechless I’d have stood

– Raziel


Is it fair?

What do you do when life itself is the problem? It’s not your job, it’s not the ones you lost, it’s not the words you didn’t say, it’s not even the ones you said. It’s everything. All together. Like a boulder knocked off its perch and picking up frightening pace. How do you stop something like that? What’s big enough to stop this tumbling, plundering, thundering behemoth dead it its tracks? Death is a great leveler. No?

But then love can move mountains too, so a boulder or two would be pittance. Where is this love? All around us. But you do not see. The biggest failing of love, is that unrecognized, it has no power. Love is only as strong as the conviction within the sender and the receiver. Love needs to be needed. Lovers kill themselves cos parents or society scorn on the union. The only love they recognize is the love they were being forced to leave. Scorched earth, no one wins if they do not. Not the parents who loved, not the friends who loved, and by dying not even their love. Was there lack of love? No. Just lots of unrecognized love. Why? Man loves the dark. To dwell on loss is much easier than to see what has been gained. It is easier to be sad than to be happy. In fact if you are observant, you might find yourself drifting towards the negative without any external influence. Often the push comes from your own rationalization. A belief which you feed because it’s easier, because the evidence is at arm’s length. But if any small prick is fleshy enough to feed the darkness inside, isn’t the majority of your life in which nothing bad happens also worth being happy about? Why do you choose to let little sorrows consume you if you don’t let the little joys bring you happiness?

Yes, it’s easy. It is. The small joys are harder to dwell on, but the small wounds can easily be exacerbated into scars. But really, is it fair? It’s easy, but is it fair?


– Raziel ©2014